sbluesnow (sbluesnow) wrote in sblue_snow,

[FIC] Lazy Bum

Title: Lazy Bum
Author: sbluesnow
Group(s): Super Junior
Main: Archive
Pairing(s): Kibum x Henry, Kibum x Eunhyuk
Chapter(s): OneShot
Summary: For once, Kibum is at home with Henry while the others are out and about, allowing Kibum to be what he really is. The devious and mischievous Bum.


It's exactly, well approximately, 11:41 AM right now in Seoul, Korea in the Super Junior dorms. Henry sat at the computer working on his Korean paper with his trusty English - Korean Dictionary right next to the keyboard, fingers typing away, the pace as slow as a turtle.

Kibum sat on the couch, legs resting on top of the coffee table, back slouched and moulded into the couch, eyes glued to the TV screen, hands feeding his mouth food. For once in an every couple months, Kibum actually had a day off from his busy schedule. He had finished filming very early yesterday with zero mistakes. His performance was so great that the director give him a much needed day off as a job's well done.

The others were either out at dance practice, out at vocal practice, out on some show, out getting the groceries and household items (it was that time of the month again. No not that kind, but the kind where all the toothpaste, shampoo,
conditioner, shaving cream, cologne, basically household necessities were all used up and needed to be stocked up again), or just out in general doing something else.



"Can you help me with something?"

"Does it require me moving?"


"Giving you money?"


"Doing anything physical?"


"Then yeah I can help."

Henry rolled his eyes. He was happy to finally be speaking English to someone again, even if Kibum's English was a tiny bit accented, it was still a million times more understandable then Yoochun's hyung English or the others for that matter.
Turning to look at Kibum, the older man was sprawled on the couch, a lot like an actual bum.

He looks so much like an actual bum sitting there all spread out like that. Henry laughed to himself, smiling like an idiot who knows the world's biggest secret and no one else does.

Although he is one. His name is KiBUM. Henry snickered. It wasn't like he was trying to be mean to his hyung. It was a true fact. It was part of his name.

"Stop laughing at how you think I look a lot like a bum right now because I'm lazing on the couch. And don't try to say that it's true because the word bum is part of my name either Henry." Kibum said eyes still glued to the TV screen, eating a bag of chips.

Henry's eyes grew wide, mouth hanging open.


Kibum rolled his eyes. Seriously, the others are still shocked that he could get what they're thinking right. It gets old fast.

"What'd you ask me to help you with?"

"HOW'D YOU DO THAT?" Henry shouted pointing his pencil at Kibum like the pencil was his magic wand that would shoot a white bright light at Kibum if his hyung suddenly became a death eater and tried to suck his soul.


"Put down the pencil. You're not Harry Potter and I'm not a death eater who’s out sent by SuJu13 fans to suck your soul."

"Not funny hyung!" Henry pouted, gripping onto his pencil even tighter.

"Seriously, drop the pencil. You'll get used to it. Hopefully."

"You mean about you being able to read my mind?"

"I can't read mind. I'm just a good guesser. So hurry up and tell me what you want me to help you with otherwise shut up and let me watch TV."


"You have 3 seconds to ask me Henry otherwise I'm ignoring you until my shows over."







"CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY KOREAN HOMEWORK?" Henry shouted at the top of his lungs, panting heavily from all the confusion his brain couldn't handle to remember how to send signals to his lungs to breathe properly.

"See that wasn't so hard." Kibum said calmly taking a drink of Siwon's Coca-Cola.

"For you." Henry pouted, not happy that he was pushed into a corner like that.

"Quit moping. I did not push you into a corner. And don't try to argue that I did. I gave you options for you to choose. Simple as that."

"You! YOU! ARGHH!"

"Henry, give it up already. Get used to me being able to guess your thoughts correctly most of the time. So hurry up and ask me what you don't get about your homework and let me go back to being a bum."

"Okay, fine but it's still weird."

"Just ask already."

"I need a name."

"English or Korean?"



"A body part."


"Facial feature."


"Piece of clothing."

"Sleeveless shirt."







"Another name."




"WHAT!" Henry turned around in his seat, looking at Kibum incredulously.

"What? You asked me for a verb and I gave you one."

"But fucking?"

"Don't use it then." Kibum said taking a sip of his strawberry milkshake. Well not his really since it had Eunhyuk's name on it. The older boy would probably throw a monkey fit later but that was fine with Kibum. He'd make it up to the older boy tonight.

"Whatever. Adjective please."









"Chocolate covered strawberries."

Once again, Henry turned around in his seat and looked at Kibum.

"Don't give me that look. I'm eating chocolate covered strawberries right now."

"Fine. Place."






"What are you thinking? Sex?"

"Not with you." Kibum said eyes not looking away from the TV screen, one hand reaching for his cell phone and the other holding Eunhyuk's his strawberry milkshake.

Henry looked at the pink milkshake and the cell phone in his hyung's hands.

"A certain monkey we all know and love?" He teased.

Kibum paused his actions and looked away from the TV, glaring at Henry.

"Love like a brother and family not lover." He defended hands up in front of him, meaning no harm.

Kibum looked away and resumed what he was doing.

"Possessive much." Henry mumbled.

"Of what's mine yeah I am."

"Sure it's not super possessive?"

"No. If I was, no one would dare touch him."

"Not even fan service?"

"Not even fan service."

"Friendly touches?"

"Not that either."

"No body contact?"


"That's possessiveness to the extreme."

"But it's better than having a leash on him and not letting anyone near him."

"Either option is still very possessive."

"Whatever. Not like I'm like that."


"So is that it? If it is then let me go back to being a bum. And yes I am already one because it's in my name."

"Okay. Just a couple more. Give me an emotion."








"Word ending with 'ing'."


Henry rolled his eyes. There was no point in asking Kibum to choose other words. The bum was too focused on food, TV, a certain monkey and what he'd do to that monkey.

"Is that it?"

"Just a couple more."

"That's what you said 5 minutes ago."

"Well I really mean it this time."

"Whatever you say."

"Name please."




"Nothing sexual!"

"Fine. Something to please the Mochi." Kibum said blandly, bored and hating Henry for being such a prick and not letting him have his fun.

"Thank you."


Henry glared at Kibum.

"What?" Kibum asked innocently, looking at Henry with big bright pure clueless eyes.

"You're a total perv."

"I wasn't thinking what you were thinking Henry. I was thinking scissors as in the kind I could use right now to cut open the bag of chips in my hand." Kibum said, holding up the bag of chips to show Henry the evidence.

"Oh." Henry realized, blushing and turning back to the computer screen.

"You're the pervert."

"Shut up." Henry huffed.

"Anyways are you done your questions now?"


"What's this for anyways?"

"Korean Class."

"You have to do mad-libs for that?"

"It's not mad-libs. Just similar. It's to help me improve my Korean language skills of being able to use other ways to describe things and be specific and not just vague terms."

"I see. In other words, paper work."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"So can I read it?"

"Sure just let me fill out the last sentence."


A comfortable silence fell between them. Henry busy writing away at his Korean homework at the computer. Kibum sprawled on the couch, watching TV and eating delicious food that Hankyung and Ryeowook had made for him to eat, saying that
he got too skinny and needed to eat more. Two full minute passed. Only the sound of fingers slowly typing words on the keyboard and the actors on the TV screen were heard.

"Okay. Done." Henry said, retrieving the sheet from the printer.


"The ending result is terrible because of you hyung."

"Why is it terrible?"

"Because the poem, short story essay thing is supposed to be about friendship but you made it about sex."

"Pftthh. Yeah right."

"It is! Now I'll have to start all over."

"Let me see that." Kibum said, hand stretched out, waiting for Henry to give the essay to him.

Henry rolled his eyes. His hyung said give it to him but expected him to get up.

Lazy bum.

"Get your ass over here and give it to me already. And I'm not lazy."

Henry pouted and grudgingly walked over to Kibum, taking a seat beside him on the couch and handed him the print out.

"Oh this is too funny." Kibum laughed out loud.

"It isn't supposed to be funny or about sex! It's supposed to be about friendship and love but you made it out like that."

"No one forced you to use my words Henli ah but how about we have a little fun with your paper huh?"

"Didn't you already have enough fun?" Henry scolded.

"Come on man, relax. Loosen up a little. There's no harm in what I want to do."

"And that is?"

"Messing with the others."

Kibum had said it in such a way that it was as if he was saying "Nice weather." instead of screwing with the minds of 13 possibly insane and mentally warped members who they live with all in one dorm where if they get caught it'd be very easy for the others to kill them.

"Oh relax, nothing major that they'd kill us for. If anything, they'd totally make it up to us."

"What do you have in mind?" Henry asked, knowing that this could end very badly but his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Nothing big just a little name change here and there and put the other members name down then distribute them to the correct pairing and let them work it out themselves."

"You're evil."

"How am I being evil? I'm helping them get what they want but is too scared to act upon it. This will give them the push they need."

"What if it goes wrong?"

"It won't."

"What if though?"

"It won't. It'll work out fine."

"I don't think it'll work."

"Well, we'll just have to test it out won't we?" Kibum said smiling his 1000 mega watt smile.

Henry inwardly cringed. Heechul was bad but Kibum was just as bad. You definitely didn't want neither of them as your enemy.

Thirty minutes later, Kibum and Henry had finished replacing their names with the other members and changing what they felt like. Mostly Kibum did all the work since Henry's Korean wasn't as good and didn't understand as much. They were seated on the couch (Henry brought over his laptop since Kibum wasn't willing to move) and waited for the printer to print everything. Once all the pages were printed, Kibum smiled sweetly at Henry.

"No. I'm not doing it."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask."

"I don't but I know for sure it involves me getting these sheets to the right member."

"Thanks for volunteering Henry." Kibum smiled that bright smile of his.

"But I-"

"Go Henry otherwise you'll never be able to get it all done by the end of the day."


"No buts. Just go."


Kibum smiled and leaned back into the couch. Once he was sure Henry was out of sight, he logged into his msn and went looking for the person that he needed to make the Mochi happy. Scrolling down his friend's list, there was the person he was looking for.
Perfect. Mochi can't be mad at me now. He'll love me for this.

Opening Henry's email (the younger forgot to log out), Kibum quickly copied and pasted the "friendship and love essay" into the email and sent it to the person. Changing his status from appear offline to online, Kibum waited for IM that was going to be coming his way any moment now.

Three. Two. On-


composer_micky says (1:00 PM): Hey
composer_micky says (1:02 PM): Kibum?
composer_micky says (1:02 PM): Bummie?
composer_micky says (1:03 PM): Bum?
composer_micky says (1:05 PM): You there?
composer_micky says (1:05 PM): HELLO?
composer_micky has sent you a nudge (1:05 PM).
BumkiBUM says (1:06 PM): Hi.
composer_micky says (1:06 PM): What took you so long?
composer_micky says (1:07 PM): Were you dying or something?
composer_micky says (1:07 PM): You didn't answer.
composer_micky says (1:08 PM): Like now.
composer_micky says (1:08 PM): -_-
composer_micky says (1:08 PM): Answer me!
composer_micky has sent you a nudge (1:09 PM).
BumkiBUM says (1:09 PM): Yeah?
composer_micky says (1:10 PM): What the hell man! That took you forever to reply to me!
BumkiBUM says (1:11 PM): I'm assuming you want something?
composer_micky says (1:11 PM): YES!
BumkiBUM says (1:11 PM): .....
composer_micky says (1:11 PM): .....
BumkiBUM says (1:13 PM): .....
composer_micky says (1:13 PM): .....
BumkiBUM says (1:15 PM): .....
composer_micky says (1:15 PM): .....SCREW YOU!
BumkiBUM says (1:16 PM): Not like you could even if you tried.
composer_micky says (1:16 PM): Excuse me?!!
composer_micky says (1:16 PM): Why you little
composer_micky says (1:17 PM): stupid idiot
composer_micky says (1:17 PM): son of a
BumkiBUM says (1:18 PM): You wanted something?
composer_micky says (1:18 PM): bitch
composer_micky says (1:18 PM): huh? oh yeah
BumkiBUM says (1:19 PM): .....
composer_micky says (1:19 PM): .....
BumkiBUM says (1:20 PM): What is it?
composer_micky says (1:20 PM): Do you know where Henry is?
BumkiBUM says (1:20 PM): Why?
composer_micky says (1:25 PM): I wanna talk to him.
BumkiBUM says (1:25 PM): He's out. Want me to take a message?
composer_micky says (1:26 PM): Do you know where he is?
BumkiBUM says (1:27 PM): Hang on, Henry calling.
composer_micky says (1:27 PM): kk

Kibum looked away from the screen and picked up his cell.


"Kibum I finished it."

"Did anyone see you?"


"Good. Where are you right now?"

"At the park just a couple blocks away from the dorm."

"Why are you there?"

"Eating ice cream."

"Oh, I see."

"Tell Teukie umma that I'm out, I want to hang out at the park for a bit."


Kibum hung up on Henry before the Canadian boy could say another word. Turning back to his msn conversation with Yoochun, Kibum quickly told him of Henry's location.

BumkiBUM says (1:33 PM): He's at the park a couple blocks from my dorm.
composer_micky says (1:33 PM): thanks XD
composer_micky has signed off.
BumkiBUM says (1:34 PM): You're welcome

Smiling to himself, Kibum logged out and closed the laptop. This morning had been an interesting morning to say the least. He deserved some much needed rest. Dragging his lazy butt off the couch Kibum headed towards his bedroom where his comfortable and loving bed was waiting for him.

Crashing onto the bed, Kibum snuggled under the covers and knew that tomorrow the Super Junior+M dorm was going to be even noisier and more hectic then usual but they were all going to be happy and hopelessly in love.

They all were going to love him for it and be at his mercy for at least a good 4 weeks. Henry would be pissed but at the same time happy for hooking him up with Yoochun. The baby was just too shy and scared to take the first step. Closing his eyes, Kibum drifted off to his happy place.

A/N: weird thing that I wrote.
Comments are welcomed~♥

Tags: !fanfiction, group: super junior, pairing: kibum x eunhyuk, pairing: kibum x henry, pairing: yoochun x henry
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