Group(s): Super Junior, DBSK
Main Pairing(s): Eunhyuk x Junsu, Hankyung x Kibum
Side Pairings(s): Donghae x Bada, Leeteuk x Henry, Siwon x Eunhyuk, Zhou mi x Eunhyuk, Heechul x Sungmin, Kyuhyun x Ryeowook x Yesung, Changmin x Jaejoong, Yunho x Yoochun, Family: Kangin x Eunhyuk, Shindong x Eunhyuk
Friend(s): Hankyung x Eunhyuk, Leeteuk x Eunhyuk, Eunhyuk x Bada, Hankyung x Bada, Leeteuk x Bada, Hankyung x Heechul, Heechul x Bada
Summary: A one night stay in his apartment that he doesn't call home changed his life. He cried and loved and loves again. The past hurts. This very day does. Moving on is easier when you let others in and help you.
Previous: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
- Flashback -
"Hi, this is Kim Kibum. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks."
"Hey Bummie just wanted to call and remind you that our reservation for the restaurant is at 5 PM. I still want to know what this is all about. You said that you had a surprise for me and you better tell me what it is at the restaurant, okay? OH YEAH! It’s a snowing today so don’t forget to dress warmly. I love you Kibum."
5 PM came a lot faster than Hankyung would have liked it to. He was so nervous. What could Kibum possibly want to tell him? He had thought that Kibum was going to break up with him. Heechul had smacked him in the head when he said that.
"What are you stupid? Kibum would NEVER break up with you! Do you know how long I heard that brat talking about you? About how he loves you and wants to be with you and date you and keeping you for himself?"
"3 years Hangeng. THREE DAMN FUCKING YEARS! When he was sober it was you, when he was drunk, it was you again. There were so many times I wanted to just knock you out and hand you over to a drunken Kibum so he’ll shut up."
Hankyung stared wide-eyed at his friend. Over the years of being friends with Heechul, Hankyung knew that Heechul could be devious but that was just crazy.
"You weren’t really going to do that were you?" Hankyung asked half afraid and half curious to what the answer could be.
"Does it matter? He’s not going to break up with you Hannie. If he does I’ll personally make sure he can never have children or feel anything in that area again."
"Heechul you really are too evil." Hankyung said at last, looking over his outfit.
"You’re seriously not going to wear that are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You’re going on a date to an upscale restaurant not for a romantic walk along the beach Hannie."
Hankyung looked over his outfit. He was wearing blue faded jeans, a t-shirt that had the word love on it.
"They might not even let you into the restaurant."
Hankyung turned around to look at Heechul. "You can’t be serious!"
"Just shut up and dress how I tell you to."
So here he was in the restaurant dressed in a dark brown and white pinstripe dress shirt the first button undone; a black Giorgio Armani 3 button down jacket with silk notched lapels, a porcelain white handkerchief in the single chest pocket with flat front fitted trousers and a pair of classic back lace-up Oxford Apollo shoes. He had requested for the table right beside the window so they could enjoy the city lights.
Glancing at his wrist watch that Kibum had given him, he smiled at that. It was because of this watch that they had met each other.
"Thinking about how we first met?"
That voice. That one voice that he could listen to for the rest of his life. The man that he had been in love with for the past three years. And still in love with now. Kim Kibum. Hankyung smiled at Kibum. It had been so long since they had seen each other. It’s been exactly 15 hours 15 minutes and 15 seconds since they’ve last seen each other. Not like he had been counting or anything. This is just an estimate figure.
Kibum took a seat in front of him. As always he looked amazing. The snow in his hair had melted and now made his hair look like he had just ruffled his hair a few times with a towel. Not too wet and the messy hair look perfectly styled. Hankyung was glad he let himself be Heechul’s dress up doll. Although he would never do it again unless it was for Kibum.
"So were you?"
"Was I what?" Hankyung asked titling his head to the side.
Kibum laughed his boyish laugh. It wasn’t the laugh where he laughed so much that his hand covered his mouth. It was an airy and carefree kind of laugh.
"Were you thinking about how we first met?"
Hankyung could have lied to Kibum and say no and be cool about it. But he just couldn’t do it. He’d rather seem like a sap then lie to Kibum.
"I was. It’s all thanks to this watch that we met."
Kibum looked at his own wrist watch and smiled, not his 1000 mega watt smile that melted female’s and possibly male’s hearts as well but a sweet smile that was purely Hankyung’s to see. A sweet smile reserved solely for Hankyung’s eyes only.
"Who would have thought that these 2 watches would bring us together?"
"I didn’t. If I knew that I would have done this a long time ago."
This time Kibum laughed for real.
"It’s not funny. I’m serious! If I knew that we’d be together because of these watches, I would have done it 3 years ago."
"Three years ago? You didn’t even know me then and I didn’t know you either."
"I did. I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you smile and bough that little boy another ice cream cone when he dropped his. You told the little boy not to cry and wait for you. You came back with the same ice cream cone he bought in hand and gave it to him. You smiled at him the sweetest smile. Not your ‘to-die’ smile but a smile that caught my heart. And it still does now. I thought that was just a onetime crush type of thing but then I heard you sing. I heard you rap. I saw you dance. I saw you act. I saw how you pretended you were okay with your girlfriend breaking up with you for some other guy. I had thought all along that it was just a simple crush. But when she did that I was furious and I didn’t know why. My heart was hurting. Seeing you having to hold back your tears and let her go. My heart was hurting seeing you lie to yourself. At that moment I wanted to protect you. From her. From the hurt. From everything. That was when I knew that it wasn’t just a simple crush. I was in love. With you. I was falling hard for you and I still am."
Kibum showed no emotion throughout the confession. He sat there. Listening to Hankyung’s words and processing the information Kibum broke into a smile.
"That was really sappy and corny you know that?"
"Hey! Those were words from the heart!" Hankyung pouted.
Kibum had to laugh at the man he loves. A grown man his age dressed in that amazing outfit pouting. It was just too cute.
"Yah! You’re laughing now but Heechul told me that you were secretly in love with me for the past 3 years too!"
Kibum stopped laughing and tensed. Reaching for his glass of water, Kibum took a sip and looked out the window. He couldn’t look Hankyung in the eyes and say something about that.
"Is it true?"
Those three little words made Kibum freeze. He didn’t know what to do. He himself knows that he can’t express his feelings very well and to hear Hankyung ask him that question in such a hesitant voice, he really didn’t know what to say.
"I, uh, um, I-"
"Really Kibum. It’s okay."
It pained Kibum to hear Hankyung say those words to him. It wasn’t okay. He knew it and so did Hankyung. Hankyung was just too nice and didn’t want to pressure Kibum into saying things for his sake. But it wasn’t like that. Kibum really does love Hankyung.
"I said it’s true."
Hankyung had a confused expression on his face. "I’m sorry Bummie but I don’t understand English."
"I said it’s true." Kibum mumbled looking at his hands, fidgeting in his lap.
Kibum may not have shouted it for the whole world to hear but Hankyung heard him. Kibum admitted it. That he really did love him all this time. That alone made Hankyung happy.
Snapping his head up at Hankyung, he couldn’t help but feel a bit angry at the older man. "If you knew then why did you ask?"
"I knew in my heart that you love me but I didn’t believe it until you admitted it."
Kibum forced himself not to show any reaction to his words but he could feel his cheeks getting hotter. He was blushing he knew it. Turning around he called for the waiter and got ready to order his food. Hiding behind the menu he knew that Hankyung was looking at him. Looking at him with that warm smile. That warm smile that held all his love. Taking a deep breath, he mentally prepared himself for what was going to happen next. Closing the menu and placing it aside he was surprised to see a plate of roasted veal chops with lemon anchovy aioli placed in front of him.
"I already ordered for you. You were too busy hiding behind the menu to notice."
Kibum flushed and took a sip of his water. Hankyung watched Kibum get all flustered and embarrassed. A rare sight indeed. SM Academy’s head of the drama and English department whose always composed and poised was flustered and it was all because of him. Hankyung was really happy about that fact. A side of Kibum that no one else got to see.
For the majority of dinner, they ate and talked about everything and nothing. About their friends, the school, their childhood dreams, their families, their past and what they want in their future. They had talked about their opinions on getting married and having children. Neither had said anything about who they’d marry. It wasn’t the right time. They both just wanted to enjoy their dinner together.
"So what brought all this on?"
"What do you mean?" Kibum asked looking away from the window. Outside the snow was slowly falling from the sky and covering the city of Seoul.
"I mean, why did you suddenly want to have dinner tonight with me Kibum?"
"What do you mean suddenly? Can’t I want to have dinner with my boyfriend because I want to?"
Hankyung smiled at the word ‘boyfriend’. Kibum rarely said it when it was just the two of them alone. "You can but I want to know why. You seemed really eager about this dinner tonight. You’re even dressed in an all white suit. And you’re wearing your black glasses too."
"I’m eager because I missed you. I’m dressed all in white to match what you’re wearing. I’m wearing my black glasses because I’m too lazy to wear my contacts."
"Is that all?"
"Yes Geng that’s all."
"Yah! I’m being serious here! Don’t call me that."
"But it’s your name."
"Well then not in that conceited tone of voice."
"It wasn’t conceited!"
"Then what was it Bummie?"
"Look whose high and mighty now."
Hankyung had to laugh at his boyfriend. He was acting like Eunhyuk. Cute and adorable and acting childish over the smallest of things.
"Yah! It’s not funny!"
"Sure it is!"
"Okay okay I give. You win." Hankyung said holding up his both hands, admitting defeat.
Kibum grinned defiantly and leaned back in his seat looking at Hankyung. Their eyes met. Neither looking away. The moment was beautiful until it was interrupted by the waiter with the cheque.
"Don’t even think about it Kibum. I got it."
"But nothing. I am definitely not the girl in this relationship."
Kibum laughed at that. If only Hankyung knew about tonight’s events he wouldn’t be saying that. "You keep believing that Geng."
"I know that."
"Ok~" Kibum smiled.
They left the restaurant laughing and smiling. The backdrop being the city lights all light up at night with the clear sky, stars could be seen. Plus with the snow falling gently on the two, it looked absolutely amazing. It looked like it they were shooting a movie right there. The passengers on the streets would stop and stare at the couple. Outside it wasn’t cold enough for the need of jackets and sweaters. A scarf was more than enough. Both men in suits and scarves around their necks, walking and laughing so freely, the pedestrians were looking around for hidden cameras.
Kibum and Hankyung didn’t notice any of this. They were too busy in their own world. Where the only person that mattered is the other. walking hand in hand, they walked to the park where everything had started. Where HanKyung had first met Kibum and where Kibum had first seen Hankyung.
Kibum had never told anyone but this park is where he had first seen Hankyung. Where he first saw him dance and talk in that one of a kind accent of his. The dance that amazed him and the voice that made his heart beat rapidly against his chest. Most of all the gentle nature of Hankyung and his personality won Kibum over. The same day that Hankyung had seen Kibum. It may have just been a coincidence but it could also be fate.
Standing under the big white tree covered in snow where they had shared their first kiss, Kibum turned to look at Hankyung. The man he loves hasn’t changed one bit since he fell in love with him. If anything, he changed for the better. Kibum felt really happy at that moment. Knowing that the man he loves loves him in return.
Hankyung turned at looked at Kibum. His hand gently wiped some of the snow that had fallen onto Kibum’s glasses. Seeing Kibum smile at him he couldn’t help but smile back. Pulling Kibum close to him, his arms naturally holding tight around Kibum’s waist. Kibum’s own arms wrapped snugly around Hankyung’s waist. Hankyung raised his eye brows at Kibum. Kibum merely gave him his 1000 mega watt smile. Hankyung chuckled and gave Kibum a quick peck on the nose.
They stood in each other’s arms, swaying to the faint music being played somewhere else in the park. Letting the snow cover them. They were surrounded in a field of white. The ground was completely covered in a thin layer of snow. From far they could be seen clearly standing under the big white tree in each other’s arms swaying to the music. It didn’t matter that it was snowing. It didn’t matter that they were being covered in snow. It didn’t matter that they could get sick tomorrow. What mattered was the moment they shared together. It was perfect.
Pulling back Hankyung looked at Kibum. Kibum looked back at Hankyung not understanding why his boyfriend stopped dancing.
"What’s wrong?" Kibum asked, worried that he had done something wrong to upset the older man.
"What’s what?" Kibum asked very confused and not getting what his boyfriend was saying.
"That." Hankyung said poking at the area over his heart except instead of his finger poking his chest it made a soft tapping sound. Kibum didn’t answer Hankyung. He swiftly turned around and tried to move away from his boyfriend but Hankyung was faster. He caught on to the back of Kibum, hugging him from behind. He started to tickle Kibum into telling him what that was.
"Tell me what that was Bummie."
"I wouldn’t bet on that."
"AHhaha stop ahah it ahah."
"Not until you tell me."
Kibum’s laughter could be heard. The couples bickering and childish remarks were loud but not so loud that everyone could hear it. From far, it looked like one male was tickling his poor friend into letting him in on what happened between him and his crush.
"Got it!" Hankyung exclaimed holding the object high up and out of Kibum’s reach when he tried to grab it.
"Give that back!"
"Not until you tell me what it is."
"Too bad. I guess I’ll just have to open it and see for myself."
"NO! DON’T OPEN IT!" Kibum shouted taking a swing at Hankyung.
Hankyung opened the small box and gasped at what was inside. Inside were two rings. Hankyung hadn’t expected that. The box didn’t look like an engagement ring box so he hadn’t thought of it. Looking at the ring then at Kibum then back at the ring then at Kibum again he couldn’t help but wonder if this was what tonight surprise is about.
"Is this for me?" Hankyung asked pointing to the engagement box in his hand.
"What are you stupid? No! It’s for a friend!" Kibum said reaching out to grab the box back but Hankyung was quicker and moved away from Kibum.
Seeing that Kibum was so eager to get the box back, Hankyung smirked at that. "Really? Then who’s your friend Bummie?"
"You don’t know him."
"Try me." Hankyung challenged. They were now standing by the park’s entrance. If Hankyung ran for it, he’d make it to the other side of the street in a flash.
"I’m holding it for Heechul."
"WHAT?" Hankyung shouted completely shocked by that.
Taking his chance, Kibum knocked the box out of Hankyung’s hands letting the box drop to the ground. Hankyung looked at Kibum then at the box. Bending down to grab it, Kibum kicked the box onto the cross walk. Hankyung ran after it and picked up the box. Examining the box and making sure the ring was still intact. Seeing that it was in one piece, Hankyung turned around and waved at Kibum with the box in hand with a big smile on his face. Kibum growled. Now Hankyung would never let this go. Turning his face to ignore his boyfriend’s triumph look, he saw a car with no driver in the driver’s seat was headed towards Hankyung.
"HANNIE! LOOK OUT!" Kibum shouted running towards him.
Hankyung looked at Kibum and before he could even say anything he was shoved to the ground. Opening his eyes he saw the car had stopped right by his feet but Kibum was nowhere in sight. Holding onto the box tightly he looked around. He saw a figure in white a few feet in front of him. It seemed too surreal. A moment ago they were laughing and chasing each other around under the big tree in the snow.
Getting up and running over to the man on the floor Hankyung wished that it wasn’t Kibum. But his wish didn’t come true. It really was Kibum. Dropping to the ground next to Kibum Hankyung couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Kibum was lying there in the snow with his broken glasses inches away smashed to bits not moving. Lifting his boyfriend into his arms Hankyung tried to get Kibum to wake up.
"Kibum? Can you hear me? Please be okay. Please!" Hankyung said hugging Kibum close to his chest and looking at the boy’s face for any sign of acknowledgement. His right arm hanging onto Kibum’s waist and his left hand lightly tapping Kibum’s cheek. Kibum let out a small whimper. Hankyung let out a sigh of relief. He was alive.
"Kibum are you okay?"
"I’m AHH!" Kibum cried out clutching his side. Hankyung’s eyes immediately shifted to Kibum’s hand. The side of Kibum’s suit was slowly turning red.
"We have to get you to a hos-"
"No!" Kibum said grabbing onto Hankyung’s scarf with his free hand.
"But Kibum! You’re hurt! You’re going to die at this rate!"
"No Hangeng. Please just hold me and listen to what I have to say first."
Hankyung was about to object but the look of determination in Kibum’s eyes stopped him.
"Alright Kibum but make it quick. We really do have to get you to a hospital."
Kibum smiled. Even though he had just been hit by a car, the fact that Hankyung still listened to him in this type of situation just made him smile. That smile quickly vanished as he felt a jolt of pain sear through his body.
"Nngh." Kibum cried out, desperately clutching onto his side. Hankyung used his free hand and tried to stop the bleeding. He gently placed his hand on top of Kibum’s and pressed down. Not so much pressure that it’d hurt Kibum but enough to help the bleeding slow down.
"Kibum are you su-"
"Yes!" Kibum shouted at Hankyung. He knew that it wasn’t fair to take out his pain on Hankyung but he couldn’t help it.
"Tonight was going to be the night I was going to propose to you. It only seemed fitting after all. January 20th was when I first saw you and I instantly knew that I love you. June 20th was the first time you smiled at me. December 20th was when I first saw you dance here in the park at night under the moonlight. February 20th was the first time I saw you cry. September 20th was when I saw you dancing at the club. November 20th was the first time I you said hi to me in the halls. April 20th was when you first asked me out. July 20th was our three month anniversary together. October 20th was our first kiss right there under the big tree. It’s now January 20th again. It’s been 3 long years. Since the day I laid my eyes on you till now. It seems like fate for me to propose to you today."
It hurt Kibum a lot to say that. His insides felt like they were ripping apart. Kibum reached for the box and took the ring out. Lying there in Hankyung’s arms he looked up at Hankyung and smiled a pained smile.
Tears were rolling down his cheeks. He knew he couldn’t last that much longer.
"Hangeng, will you marry me?"
Kibum knew that his voiced cracked when he said that. That he was crying and lying in his lovers arms. Waiting for death to come and take him. But he didn’t care. He wanted to know Hankyung’s answer. He wanted to know whether Hankyung would lie or tell him the truth in his condition.
"Will you marry me?" Kibum now was fully crying he couldn’t stop the tears from coming. He didn’t care about how he might have looked. All that mattered was Hankyung’s answer. His body was trembling with fear and pain. He needed to know.
Hankyung looked at Kibum. The boy that he had fallen in love with 3 years ago was proposing to him. At any other time Hankyung would say yes immediately. But right now after the ring, the car, and everything that happened just now, Hankyung didn’t know what to say to Kibum. Time was ticking. The longer Kibum had to wait for his answer the later they could get Kibum into a hospital.
He honestly didn’t know what to say though. He does love Kibum and want to marry him and live together for the rest of their lives but could he tell Kibum that right now was the question.
"I do. Kibum. I really do." Hankyung hadn’t realized he had been crying when Kibum asked him that until Kibum wiped the tears away with his thumb. Hankyung stopped that hand and held it tightly in his own. He leaned down and kissed Kibum. It was meant to be a light kiss but Kibum didn’t want it to end. He knew that this would be the last. He could feel it. His arm left his side and reached around Hankyung’s neck. Kibum kissed him back with everything he had left in him.
Letting his hold go, Kibum leaned back and smiled at Hankyung. He took the ring and placed it on Hankyung’s ring finger. Hankyung took the other ring and did the same to Kibum. Kibum held Hankyung’s hand in his own and held it in front of him. He smiled at seeing that it was finally happening. He and Hankyung were engaged.
"Geng, promise me something." Kibum whispered. He could feel his body getting weaker.
"What is it Bummie?"
"Promise me that after I die, you’ll continue to live happily and marry someone who loves you and who you love back." It killed him to say those words to Hankyung but he knew he had to. He didn’t have much time left. He wanted Hankyung to be happy and smile that beautiful smile of his.
"No. No! NO! Kibum! Don’t think that. Don’t even say that. You’ll be alright. We’ll get through this." Hankyung said crying and trembling against Kibum.
Kibum laughed. He wanted to believe those words so much. So bad. But he knew that no matter how much he hoped or wishes for it right now it just wasn’t going to happen. He rested his head on Hankyung’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Right now it hurt to take in what was going on. The reality of this. That he was bleeding uncontrollably and it wasn’t stopping.
Surrounded by a blanket of white snow, two lovers lay. One of which was coloring the beautiful landscape red, trying dreadfully to keep the cold from taking over his body. He was getting weaker and weaker though as the blood drained from the deep gash in his side, stealing bits and bits of the light from his dark brown eyes.
"I’m sorry I won’t be able to keep my promise."
"You can Kibum! Yo-" "No Geng. I can’t. I know my limits. This is the end of me and us."
"NO! We’re engaged. We have to get married. We have to have a big wedding and invite Heechul and show him that we’ve found the person meant for us. There’s still so much we have to do together!"
Kibum held Hankyung’s crying face lovingly. Through his own tears he could see Hankyung clearly. It hurt him to see his lover crying. It hurt him even more to know that those tears were because of him. And he felt useless for not being able to do anything about it. "I’m sorry."
"Don’t be Bummie. Just hang in there. Help is on the way. They’ll be here soon."
Kibum smiled ‘Hankyung’s smile’. The smile that was for his eyes only.
"I love you Hangeng."
Those were Kibum’s last words. It took everything in him to say those last words to Hankyung. It took his life away. Kibum went limp in Hankyung’s arms.
"No. No. No! NO! NO! Kibum no! Please wake up!"
Hankyung shook Kibum in his arms. Trying to get the boy to wake up. When he didn’t Hankyung broke down completely. Help had arrived but they were too late. Kibum was gone. His Kibum was gone. His Kibum was gone and he was never going to come back.
Hankyung didn’t know who had called for help nor did he care. He had lost Kibum. Kibum was gone and he was never coming back. He was never going to be able to see Kibum’s smile again. Or hear his voice, his laughter, his anything.
- End of flashback -
A/N: end of chapter 2
Comments are welcomed~♥