Group(s): Super Junior
Pairing(s): Kibum x Yesung
Summary: Wanting to live and not being able to has finally hit home and everything is crumbling.
Previous: Wanting to Live
"I feel like we've drifted apart."
"What makes you think that?"
"You don't talk to me anymore, we don't share laughs and secrets, we don't see each other anymore."
"I'm right here. I can see you Kibum. So I don't get what you're saying."
"You don't see the real me anymore Yesung. You see what everyone else sees. You see the Kibum everyone sees. You don't see me."
"Kibum what's wrong?" Yesung asked taking a step closer to his boyfriend.
Kibum shook his head and inched back.
"What's wrong is us. Nothing can stay like this anymore. It's changing. Changing into something I don't want."
"But change isn't neccesasrily bad. It can be a good thing."
"I'm dying Yesung."
"What! What do you mean you're dying??" Yesung shouted frantically, his thin frame shaking and trembling with pain, hurt, denial and at a loss of why this was happening to his Bummie.
"I'm dying because of you. What you're doing to me. What you've done to me and what you might do to me."
"So you're not dying?" Yesung asked nerviously, wishing this was where Heechul and the others would burst in and say "We fooled you!" and not for this to be real.
"I'm dying on the inside because of you."
Yesung was happy to know that his Bummie wasn't really dying but dying because of him was still terrible to know.
"Why are you dying because of me?" Yesung whispered, scared of the answer he was going to recieve.
"You're everything to me Yesung but it's not the same for me. I'm not your everything."
"You are! I love you Bummie."
"I know you do but how long is that going to last?"
"What do you mean? I love you and I always will. Forever."
"Forever." Kibum choked on that word. "Don't say that when your heart will change."
"It's not changing. I love you." Yesung sobbed, tears falling like an overflowing river. The tears just keep falling and not stopping.
It hurt Kibum to see Yesung cry and it hurt even more to know it was because of him. He wanted to go over and wipe those tears away but he knew that if he did he'd break. He'd break down and push Yesung away. He would leave and never look back, turn back or come back.
"You are changing. You don't see it but I do."
"What do you see then Bummie? What am I doing that's different? What am I doing that's hurting you like this? What am I doing that's making you suffer like this?"
"Your happiness. Your smile. The smile that isn't for me anymore."
"I'm happy. What's wrong with that? Aren't you happy that I'm happy?" Yesung asked, eye brows coming together, creasing on his forhead in utter confusion.
"I am happy that you're happy Yesung. I really am."
"But you're not happy with me anymore." Kibum said solemly, turning his head to the side and not looking at Yesung.
"Who says I'm not? I am! I love you Bummie. I love being with you. Being with you makes me really happy."
"Then why can't I see that? Why don't I see you smiling at me the way you do to others? Why does your smile seem duller and less lively when you smile at me?"
"What do you mean? My smile shines because of you."
"It's not what I see. What I see is your heart slowly stop beating for me. Your eyes not looking my way. You touches aren't for me. Your love disappearing."
"My love isn't. It's yours. My heart is yours."
"Your love? I don't want it Yesung."
"Why? You were saying that I was the one who didn't love you but you're lying. You're doing this to hurt me so it hurts you less. You're saying these things when you want to end us. Why? My smile shines because of you. My touches are for you. My heart is yours." Yesung said softly, tears building up in his eyes and falling to the ground.
Kiibum didn't move to wipe the tears away. He stayed glued to his spot on the opposite side of the room. He couldn't chance what would happen if he walked over to Yesung right now. It was too risky. This needed to end. He needed to live.
"Yesung don't kid yourself. You want to belive that. You want to be happy and you are. You're happy without me. There's no us anymore. Only you. And only me."
"No Kibum. Please don't do this." Yesung pleaded, running over to Kibum and taking hold of Kibum's hands into his own. Holding and squeezing Kibum's hands tightly, Yesung implored his eyes into Kibum's. "Don't be cold to me. Don't shut me out your life. Don't break us up. I love you and that's not going to change."
"Can you promise me that Yesung? Can you promise me that you won't break my heart?"
"No I can't bu-"
"Then I'm sorry Yesung." Kibum said, pulling his hand away.
Kibum stared at Yesung's face. The older man was breathing out of this mouth, hands fidgeting at his sides, eyes looking at anywhere but him. Kibum continued to stare at him. A faint rosy pink blush spread across Yesung's cheeks.
Kibum chuckled and took a step towards Yesung. "What?"
"I said tha-"
Yesung didn't finish his sentence. Kibum was standing in front of him. Looking at him. His words caught in his throat.
"You what?" Kibum asked, waiting for Yesung to continue.
"I uh. I." Yesung's throat went dry. He couldn't speak. Kibum wasn't mad anymore. He was just standing infront of Yesung with such a cute and sweet smile and his eyes shining and just being Kibum!
"You need me huh?" Kibum smirked.
Yesung literally was gaping at Kibum. Pursing his lips into a pout, Yesung lightly slaped Kibum's forearm.
"No, you are." Kibum took another step closer to Yesung and wrapped his arms around his waist.
"I can't promise you that Bummie but I really do love you and need you." Yesung whispered, arms glued to his side and head down.
"I know Sungie. I know." Kibum said, not expecting Yesung to do anything anymore. He was just happy to know that he was loved by the one he loved and that he was needed.
They stood there. Kibum hugging Yesung. Yesung standing still and looking stiff in Kibum's hug but really his body fit perfectly against Kibum's.
No expectations. Just love with an open heart and mind.
A/N: FINALLY DONE! Gosh this took forever to complete!
Comments are welcomed~♥