Group(s): Super Junior
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun x Sungmin
Summary: "It would have been better if you lied to me Kyu. Why did you have to tell me the truth? Why?" Sungmin asked voice small and fragile. "I wouldn't have turned out this way if only had lied."
Dedicated to: theacecard from my meme fic here.
"Why didn't I listen to my heart? Why didn't you just lie? It's easier that way isn't it? Stupid Hyunnie." Sungmin pouted staring intently at the black picture frame that held a picture of them both hugging and smiling.
Dropping the picture frame beside him on the bed, Sungmin held up his bunny in front of him.
"What should I do Ari?" Sungmin asked his bunny.
"Well what do you want to do?" Sungmin faked the bunny's voice.
"I dunno. I hate him. I hate Hyunnie for what he did."
"But you still love him." Came the high pitched voice.
"I do." Sungmin sighed, hugging the bunny to his chest.
"Well you should let your broken heart heal and love again."
Sungmin looked at his bunny and broke into a huge grin.
"You're so smart Ari!" Sungmin said as he hugged the bunny to his chest.
"But I don't have a broken heart. Pooey!" Sungmin pouted.
"OH I KNOW! I get a broken heart then let it heal then love again! I'm so smart! YAY!" Sungmin cheered, clapping his hands.
"Now how do I break my heart?" Sungmin said, puckering his lips and stroking his chin in deep thought.
"Oh! Kyu said that cutting yourself is bad and that it breaks his heart when I bleed. And if he's hurting then I am. SOOOO I need a knife!!!! Now where can I get one?? Hannie won't let me take a knife out of the kitchen without being suspicious and he might tell Teukie Umma and Teukie Umma knowing is very bad. Hmm, what do you think Ari?" Sungmin said, turning to look at the bunny he had placed beside him on the bed.
"You could use the thingy you use to shave." Sungmin said mimicking his bunny's voice.
"You mean a razor?"
Ari nodded her head.
"Aww what would I do without you Ari?!! You're the best!"
Sungmin squealed, hugging the bunny to his chest.
"You stay here okay? I'm off to the washroom to cut myself!" Sungmin said gently placing the bunny against his pillow and lightly petting Ari's head before heading out of his room to the washroom.
And that's how it started. The cute yet masculine Sungmin had changed into someone completely different.
When dinner came around, Leeteuk called everyone down for dinner. Everyone filled into the kitchen and sat down at the table. No one was really paying attention to who wasn't at the table yet. They'd come eventually. The kitchen was loud as usual. Thirteen voices talking over each other. It's a wonder how they were able to hear a frantic screaming of someone in the dorm.
Leeteuk not so gently placed the stack of bowls onto the dining table and rushed to where the scream came from. Hankyung turned off the stove and was right behind him. Everyone looked at each other for a split second before they ran after the leader umma.
Running up the stairs, the shouting got louder and louder. The screams and pleas were coming from the upstairs washroom. Rushing over, everyone was surprised at what they saw. There on the floor was a giggling Sungmin and a crying Donghae.
"Hi everyone!" Sungmin waved his hand cheerfully at the members.
Donghae continued to cry and yanked the waving hand down to clean up the wound.
Only then did the members by the door realize what happened. Leeteuk knelt to the two on the floor and gently removed Donghae's trembling hands away from Sungmin's wrist.
"It's okay Hae. I got it." Leeteuk gently lulled Donghae into giving him the bright red towel that had once been white.
Donghae slumped to the wall, looking at Sungmin with sad and confused eyes. Behind him Leeteuk could hear the sniffling and sobs of the other members.
"Hankyung, lead the others back downstairs and start dinner without us."
"Go." Leeteuk's voice had left no room for arguments.
"Yes hyung?" Kibum replied for them both. Eunhyuk was still in shock and hadn't moved or uttered a sound since they saw Sungmin and Donghae on the floor.
"Take Donghae with you downstairs and start dinner okay?"
"Okay." Kibum said, gently pulling Eunhyuk into the washroom and guided him to Donghae's side. Eunhyuk automatically grabbed hold of one of Donghae's arms and Kibum held onto the other. They helped him up and lead him downstairs.
Once they were out, Leeteuk focused on Sungmin's wounds.
Leeteuk gently dabbed and cleaned the slashes on Sungmin's wrists, then his ankles, calves, thighs, and along his waist line.
"Are you mad at me?" Sungmin asked, scared that the leader umma would yell at him for causing a mess and ruining everyone's dinner.
"No Minnie I'm not."
"But you look mad." Sungmin whispered.
Leeteuk let out a long sigh. "I'm not mad Minnie. I just don't get why you're doing this to yourself."
"I'm healing hyung."
"How is this healing? You're hurting yourself!" Leeteuk snapped, looking at Sungmin with angry eyes.
Sungmin giggled at his hyung's expression.
"Silly Umma. I have to be hurting for me to heal."
"Why are you hurting?" Leeteuk dared to ask. He wasn't entirely okay with wanting to know the answer. It might be worse knowing then not knowing.
"Promise you won't get mad?"
"Why would I get mad?"
"Promise?" Sungmin pouted.
Leeteuk sighed. "I promise."
"Pinky promise?" Sungmin asked, holding out his pinky to Leeteuk.
Leeteuk rolled his eyes but still hooked his pinky with Sungmin's. "So why did you try to hurt yourself?"
"Hyunnie told me the truth."
"He cheated on me and told me about it instead of trying to hide it from me. Umma don't get mad at Hyunnie okay? You promised."
Leeteuk wanted to find the magnae and smack some sense into him but Sungmin needed him more right now.
"I know. I promised I won't get mad but that still doesn't explain why you're trying to hurt yourself to heal."
"Oh that's easy! I'm not mad at Hyunnie for cheating on me. I hate him for telling me the truth instead of lying to me about it because now I'm sad but I still love him. So the only way for me to stop loving him is to get a broken heart but I still love him so he didn't break my heart so I have to break it myself. And Hyunnie once said that he doesn't like to see me in pain because then his heart breaks and when he's hurting so do I. So I'm hurting myself so then I can break my heart and then let it heal so I can love again." Sungmin said with a smile till the very end of his explanation.
Leeteuk pulled his dongsaeng into his arms and hugged the boy tightly.
"I'm here for you okay Sungmin. We all are."
"I know Teukie Umma." Sungmin giggled hugging the leader just as tight.
After cleaning up Sungmin's wounds and the mess in the washroom, Leeteuk lead Sungmin downstairs for dinner. By then everyone else has finished and retreated to their own rooms or hung out in one of the other member's rooms.
Leeteuk and Sungmin ate dinner, side by side, laughing and smiling.
Once they finished eating, Leeteuk tucked Sungmin into bed even though the latter said that it was his turn to do the dishes. Leeteuk looked down at the younger boy with his hands on his hips. Sungmin sighed and let the leader tuck him in. Once Leeteuk was sure Sungmin was asleep and that there was nothing in the boy's room that he could use to cut himself, Leeteuk went out into the hall and texted Kangin, telling him to round up the members quietly to his room which was downstairs on the first floor instead of on the second with the other members.
Inside his room, Leeteuk waited for everyone to assemble. In less than 2 minutes, everyone was inside his room excluding Sungmin. Some members sat on the bed, others sprawled out on the floor or anywhere they could find a place to sit in the leader's white bedroom.
"How's Sungmin?" Kyuhyun asked, seeing as everyone was quiet and no one dared to ask the question that's been flying around in their mind for the past hour or so.
"Oh, so you care huh?" Leeteuk flared at the younger.
"Of course I do! I love Sungmin."
"Then why the fuck did you cheat on him?"
Kyuhyun's jaw dropped. Everyone else in the room froze. Not only did their Umma Leader snap at their magnae but swear too.
"He told you?" Kyuhyun asked, an idea forming in his mind of why Sungmin was hurting himself.
"Yes Kyuhyun. He told me that you cheated on him and admitted it too."
"Does he hate me?"
"Oddly enough, no. He doesn't hate you for cheating on him. He hates you for telling him that you did. And now, he's hurting himself because you told him the truth."
"What do you mean hyung?" Eunhyuk asked, seeing as Kyuhyun was too shocked to say anything.
"He said that he doesn't hate Kyuhyun for cheating on him. He hates him for telling him the truth. And that he has to hurt himself to heal. He's hurting himself because he said that if he's hurt then you're sad which makes him sad. So he's going to break his own heart to let it heal and love again."
"Self destruction, yes."
The members let the new information sink in. Their loveable and pink loving bunny hyung and dongsaeng was hurting and they couldn't do anything to stop it. They felt helpless and scared of what Sungmin would do in the future if no one was there to watch him.
"I'm sorry everyone. I didn't mean to do this to him." Kyuhyun stood back from the group and bowed to them.
"It's not your fault. You told him the truth and instead of getting mad and hurting he's taken it upon himself to feel the nonexistent pain and make it hurt."
"No buts Kyuhyun. It's already in the past. Get over it. We have to worry about Sungmin right now. Save your apology for when he's stable."
Everyone was shocked by Leeteuk's harsh words. They were true but to be put so bluntly, they all felt the anger in his words.
Kyuhyun nodded and sat in the corner. What matters is getting Sungmin to be okay again. How they were going to do that he had no idea but he was willing to do anything for things to go back to what they once were.
A/N: To theacecard I'm so sorry that this took so long and I'm super sorry that it's not exactly as you had requested.
Comments are welcomed~♥