sbluesnow (sbluesnow) wrote in sblue_snow,
sbluesnow
sbluesnow
sblue_snow

[FIC] We Will Go On Chapter 3

Title: We Will Go On
Author: sbluesnow
Main: Series Archive | One-Shots Archive
Main Pairing(s): Kibum x Yesung
Chapter(s): 3/4
Summary: The world continues to spin no matter how things are on Earth. There can be peace or war, it doesn't change a thing. The world continues to spin. Just like the angels in the sky are holy and complete while the devils in the shadows are tainted and broken.
Previous: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

-x-

The walk home was quiet. Changmin hadn't said another word. He was busy eating his bag of donuts and thinking whatever he was thinking in that head of his. Kibum didn't really care. He liked the peace and quiet. He had a lot of things to think about. He knows that Changmin is only encouraging him to do things that are for his benefit. He knows that and appreciates what his childhood friend is doing for him but he can't accept it.

He's being stubborn and he knows that but he can't risk another one of his love ones disappearing right before his eyes. And the reason that they're disappearing is because of him. He doesn't need to relive that pain again and neither does Yesung need to go through it.

Yesung. Kim Jongwoon to him is an angel. Not his angel because who he is won't allow for such a beautiful being to be near him.
It may have been 4 years but the pain is still fresh as if it happened minutes ago.

Maybe he could confess and maybe they could be together if he wasn't who he is. If his name isn't what it means.

Kim Kibum. A young 22 year old, third year university student who is the top three in all his classes but also very active in the extracurricular like sports teams, academic clubs, and dabbles in the theatrics and arts. He's a heart throb on campus and very kind to everyone.

That really is who he is on the surface. Beneath that, if you go past the walls and doors, you enter into the real life of Kim Kibum.

He isn't a killer or a wanted criminal but the way he sees himself, he might as well be one. A killer kills his/her victim in whatever way they choose and the end result is the same. Their victim's heart stops and they're dead. Kibum doesn't use a knife or a gun. He doesn't kill. Not physically anyways. He uses others, their friends, their families, even their pets as his pawns. He doesn't kill his targets. He plays with them and torments them to get what he wants.

It's like a game of chess. He uses those close to the target or gets someone to be close to the target as his pawns. Then he'll send out his rook to follow his target and keep an eye on their movements. When the time is right, then he sends out his black knight to "push" his target into giving up and giving him what he wants. He's never had to go pass sending out his one black knight.

So Kibum isn't a killer. He doesn't leave his targets to dead. He toys with their mind, their emotions and their surroundings; not their bodies. There isn't an official name for what he does and who he is.

In simple terms, who he is, is a mix of the mafia, the yakuza and the triad. How it works is that, in terms of the hierarchy of the clan, it's more structured the mafia. There is a boss and the consigliere (his right hand men) and then the underboss and crew boss (operations officer (accountants, law advisor), deputy (administrator, enforcer, liaison officer), ceremonies officer) then their crew's members then associates (people who work for the mafia but isn't a true member).

What he does or what he's a part of is: extortion, drugs, arms, loans, car theft, contract killing, drug trafficking, control of contracting, money laundering, gambling, prostitution, counterfeiting and other forms of racketeering. It can be anything as long as he benefits from it. It isn't just about money. Money isn't enough of a prize to do it.

Kibum isn't proud of his background, his secret life but it's who he is. It's who he's raised to be. The heir to the throne. Right now he's stands beside his father, the boss as one of his consigliere. No one has seen his face though. All the work he does and the communications to his father is done through his home office that is protected even from the government. The phone lines can't be tapped. If someone tries to, he'll know right away. Bugs and spy cameras won't work either. His home is in a dead zone. There is no signal. His house is dependent on a private network that only their family has. It's been that way for generations and it hasn't failed yet. His computer is protected by many walls. Just coming within a 100 metre range, sets off alarms and the firewalls and bombs are initiated.

And this is exactly why he can't be with Yesung. No one besides his father and a few in the clan know what he looks like but that isn't enough. The pain and what he has to go through if he were to be with someone that isn't a part of his secret life is too risky and painful. The many lies he would have to give out and the many times he'd put his love in danger isn't worth it. He hasn't taken the throne yet but it's still too risky. Just like 4 years ago. He had fallen in love, fight for his love and all the sweat, blood and tears got him was his love taken away right in front of him.

He isn't going to let history repeat itself. He'll fight to make sure it won't happen. He can't stand to see the angel hurting and disappearing because of him.

He can't live through that again. It's easier to just ignore his ever growing feelings and watch the angel from afar. Eventually his little crush will disappear. Or so he keeps telling himself. He knows his affections runs deeper than that but he's not going to admit it. It's easier to live in denial then to admit that he loves Yesung and wants to be with him.

Wanting the impossible is what makes wanting it desirable. But he knows that if he did get Yesung, the wanting wouldn't end. Want would change into need and in his life, where he could die at any given moment or have to change identities and start over; having to pull Yesung away from his world is too much. He just can't do that no matter how selfish he is or wants to be.

If they're not together, they both continue on with their lives and live the way they do. Yesung continues to live freely in his bright world. Kibum continues to live his double life and survive to have a life to live.

If they are together, someone will die. He doesn't know who and he doesn't want to think about who it would be between them. He just knows that they can never be together.

-x-

A/N: -_- Don't look at me like that. It ended the way it did. I have no control on how it goes. Well I do but I don't at the same time, if that makes sense.

On the bright side, no one dies. :)

Comments are welcomed~♥
Tags: !fanfiction, group: super junior, pairing: kibum x yesung
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