sbluesnow (sbluesnow) wrote in sblue_snow,

[FIC] We Will Go On Chapter 4

Title: We Will Go On
Author: sbluesnow
Main: Series Archive | One-Shots Archive
Main Pairing(s): Kibum x Yesung
Chapter(s): 4/4
Summary: The world continues to spin no matter how things are on Earth. There can be peace or war, it doesn't change a thing. The world continues to spin. Just like the angels in the sky are holy and complete while the devils in the shadows are tainted and broken.
Previous: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3


Closing his bedroom door behind him, Yesung sat on his bed and looked up at the ceiling. Reaching out and grabbing one of the many pillows on his bed close, he pouted and rolled over to the side. He could see TtangKkoMa on the other side of the room watching him with curious eyes. Sighing, Yesung put the pillow down and headed towards the turtle's tank. Picking him up, Yesung walked back to his bed and put TtangKkoMa on the bed next to him.

"TtangKkoMa, do you think I did the right thing? Do you think it's time for me to let go of my crush?"

TtangKkoMa didn't answer his master. He just blinked his beady little eyes.

"I guess we're just never meant to be." Yesung sighed and closed his eyes. Draping an arm over his face, he tried hard not to cry.

I know who you are Kim Kibum. I know who you really are. I may not be my father's right hand man but I know how that world works. I know who you are. I know who your father is. I know what it is that you do. I know that we can never be together.

Heechul doesn't know. I don't think anyone does. But I do. I know who you are in the underground world. I know who I am in that world. I know that if we become something more, many men on both sides will die.

It's so stupid but it's true. Romeo and Juliet. Their parents are enemies and they know that but they still persevere. They fight for their love.

I want to. I really do but the chances of us having a happily ever after is only in my dreams. My nightmare, my reality is one of us dying amongst the bloodshed of our men. I don't want you to die. I'd rather not have you and see you live.

You don't know who I am. Not the real full me. No one knows. Not even my best friend. Only my family does.

I'm not a part of that circle. I don't step in and help with the family "business" but I know full well what goes on and who our enemies are.

This feud has been going on for generations and generations. Getting together is just a chance for a war to break out. Nothing will be stopped. If it's for the sake of the gang, I know what my duty is. I know what I'll have to do.

You're the only son of the Kim. You're the rightful heir. My younger brother is training into becoming the next heir. I have no intention in taking over the family business. I only watch from the sidelines. To get rid of the enemy, you must stop at nothing. I know what I'd have to do and I don't want to.

I can't kill you. I can't do it.

I don't care if I am being a coward. I want to see you live. I want to see you succeed and be happy. I don't care if that means watching you get married to some girl and having a family with her. I don't want you to die by my hands.

I know of your past. I know what happened 4 years ago. I know you fought for your love and that you lost your love. Back then you at least had a chance to fight back. The second we get together, not even within 24 hours, someone will die. It may not be either of us but someone from either side will die. I don't want to be the cause of bloodshed and ruining people's families.

I'm sorry Kibum. I can't throw Jongwoon away. I can't just be Yesung. You can't run away from your life.

The life we live is so similar yet so different.

We both strive to live. We both have to take measures to let nothing slip. You live in the circle. I live outside the circle. The glass wall will always be there. There's no use punching that wall and breaking your arm. It's not worth dying over.

I'm sorry Kibum. Maybe under different situations we can be who we want to be but not this life. This life, we're destined to be enemies and not love one another.

'To love is to kill.'

That's the motto of our world. If you're able to love, you're able to kill the one you love to protect them from being killed by someone else. It's sick and twisted but it's true.

I can't kill you. I can't love you Kibum. I'm sorry.

Yesung squeezed his eyes shut and mutely cried his heart out. He didn't want Heechul to hear or see him like this. Curling himself into a ball, Yesung pulled the covers over himself and cried. TtangKkoMa just went into its shell and hid like its master.

"I'm sorry."

The whisper echoed in the room. The silence that meets his words hurt him even more. There's no second opinion or another voice to tell him that he's wrong. That he can fight and win this battle. That it isn't something he has to let go of. That his love for Kibum shouldn't end. That they can't be together.

The tears continue to fall. The angel is not okay.

Like by night, Kibum switches to who he really is.

Like behind closed doors, the angel crumbles and is just as broken as the devil.


A/N: So....

The end.

Comments are welcomed~♥
Tags: !fanfiction, group: super junior, pairing: kibum x yesung
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